If you are looking for a dating relationship without the drama, it can happen. It takes patience and the following of a few guidelines, but never fear, dating without drama can definitely happen.
What most people do not realize is that they are as much a part of the drama as their partner is. While they do not think that is correct in most cases they are to blame just as much as anyone else. There are several topics, behaviors and other things that go into a successful relationship as well as avoiding that dreaded drama.
Following these dating tips can ensure a drama free dating experience and the building of a lasting relationship.
1. Listen to your partner
Most couples make the mistake of jumping to conclusions about their partner when dating. Instead of listening to what the person has to say, they may automatically assume that they know what happened, which is not always the case. You should always let your partner tell his/her side of the story. Listen without interrupting, raising your eyebrows or other derogatory actions. There may be extenuating circumstances or something you do not know that would make sense if you listened to the entire story. Remember your partner has a right to speak and if you want a lasting relationship, you better listen instead of talking all the time.
2. Be empathetic
If your dating partner is having a problem or has hurt feelings, do not blow it off and laugh about it. Their feelings are already hurt and now you have made it worse by discounting them. Always listen to others and sympathize with their hurt feelings. This is the right thing to do and in most cases, if you show some empathy it will get you out of the doghouse. This is because your partner has been made to feel that you truly appreciate and understand them.
3. Own your actions – good or bad
Instead of getting defensive and bringing up something they did two years ago, own your actions. It never hurts to say sorry or that you won't do something again. The best way to diffuse someone that is mad is to agree, apologize and truly feel his or her pain. Often times this makes them feel bad about being so aggravated at you and they forget what they were griping about in the first place. If you did something wrong be man or woman enough to admit your mistake and go on, but never displace the blame and throw smoke screens. A smoke screen is when you have done something wrong, but instead of talking about the facts, you bring up another unrelated issue. This causes the conversation to turn and often opens another can of worms. And, there are plenty of worms in any dating relationship.
Some people are just born with drama in their blood, but most people turn to drama when they feel that they are not appreciated. Drama is not only found in dating relationships, but also marriage and friendships. It is usually because people have poor communication skills and lack the experience of how to accept responsibility for their own actions. So, instead of blowing things out of proportion and not taking responsibility, try apologizing next time. Comments like the ones listed below are guaranteed to diffuse a situation and calm someone down. If you can calm a person that is angry and listen to them, it is generally the end of the fight. Following these guidelines can help you end the drama in any relationship!
4. Comments to Diffuse an angry person
- I understand where you are coming from and feel your pain.
- I should have listened closer and heard what you had to say.
- Please do not yell, I am listening and will hear you out.
- I know you are upset and have good right to be.
- Let me work on controlling my listening and I will be a better communicator.
When talking with a woman/man that is angry try and talk about yourself, use "I" instead of "you". Do not point out flaws or begin a name-calling situation. This only makes things worse and you will never get anything resolved or rid yourself of dating drama.
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