Just started dating? Been together forever? There are 10 basic must haves to ensure loving survival no matter where your relationship is at. Follow this guide to dating and keep your love life on track. Find out what every great partnership needs to last the distance.
1: Fight fair. Every couple needs their own list of rules on what constitutes fair play. Remember, every couple fights. You shouldn't dredge up past errors when they have already been dealt with previously. Don't keep rehashing. You should also not bring in mentions of family members and exes. Saying" you are just like your dead beat brother" is not fighting fair. Other worthy rules include employing strategies like never sleeping on a fight, never leaving the house without apologising, and no not talking. If things start to get really out of hand try having a 10 minute time out rule so that you can both calm down a bit before really hurtful things are said.
2: Sense of humour. A good sense of humour is probably the most important relationship secret. Having the ability to laugh together may seem very simple, but laughter really is the best medicine. Laughing at the mortifying work Christmas party, the hideous dinner at your parent's house, the failed interview, the burnt toast, is very therapeutic. Being able to laugh about it later really does reduce the tension. Be mindful you are laughing together though, and not poking fun at the other at their expense.
3: Random acts. Words and thoughts that show the other that you are still thinking about them are very important. Send some flowers or chocolates. Unexpected phone calls just to say "I love you", random text messages and the like are all great for making the other feel wanted and special. Over the years these tiny little acts all add up and can make a huge difference as to how well the other perceives they are loved. Use your personal organizer as a reminder if you are one of those people that get caught up at work and can never remember.
4: Personal space. Allowing yourselves to have your own space is a great dating technique. Couples shouldn't live out of each other's pockets. By spending time apart, you are making the time you are together more precious and more quality driven. You need to be able to trust your lover when you are apart. You will also have more things to talk about when you are together and value your time together and make it more special.
5: Life altering experience. No relationship has been challenged until it encounters one of these. Death or illness of a loved one, loss of a job or losing the family fortune are all tragic experiences that we will all at some time have to deal with. These terrible events all require support from our loved one. Seeing each other at their absolute lowest is a great relationship leveler. While these crises test your relationship they will also strengthen your emotional bonds if you can survive as a couple. Seeing how your other half deals with and supports you through these difficult times is a great pointer for your future.
6: Companionable silence. Can you spend hours together without saying a word in comfortable silence? This is true intimacy. You shouldn't feel compelled to fill every little silence with meaningless chatter. Can you walk the beach hand in hand in loving silence? Can you survive the road trip in quiet bliss (road map dramas obviously excluded)? This is a great indicator that you are in synch together and bodes well for your dotage.
7: Keeping secrets. It is perfectly fine to have some things secret. Old diaries, love letters, etc are perfectly harmless. So long as the secret isn't going to hurt the other then it is okay to keep it to yourself. Obviously, we are not talking about extra curricular sexual activities, gambling, and secret addictions here. You should not be keeping secrets about important things. Long term couples can find it difficult to determine where one of you starts and the other finishes. To stay sane and happy it is important to preserve some sense of your own self.
8: Favoured sex position. Sex often doesn't have the pressing urgency that it did earlier on once you have gotten past the honeymoon phase of your relationship. Every couple needs to have a sure fire position that pleases all for when time is at a premium. Knowing what your partner likes means you can excite the other in a short space of time using minimum energy. You are still experiencing the emotional and physical intimacy and not drifting apart while waiting for more opportune time.
9: Attraction: You have to like your lover. There has to be something more than just physical beauty that attracts you to the other. Over the years their face and body will change, so deep down there has to be something there that draws you in and keeps you coming back for more.
10: Belief in the other: It is important to have genuine belief in your partner. You must have faith in their ethics and abilities. Faith and belief are huge building blocks for any long term relationship. If you do not believe in your loved one then you shouldn't be with them.
All relationships need these building blocks to stand the test of time. By implementing this helpful dating and relationship advice you too can become best friends and long term lovers. Here's a guide that gets rave reviews and I like it because of the relevant and helpful content - Lovemaking Secrets and Practices.
